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1. River

It’s the dark night of the soul
Never slept in a bed so cold
Can you hear me crying out
I’m aching and so alone

If your love were a river
On my back I would lay
Let your love be a river
Come and carry me away

I’m a ship lost at sea
With nothing here to anchor me
No wind to fill my sails
Why have you forsaken me?

If your love were a river
On my back I would lay
Let your love be a river
Come and carry me away

I have heard your cries, my love
I have never left your side, my love
The emptiness I know so well
I wept until the blood fell
I drank the bitter cup
Darkness came to swallow me up
I rose to meet the dawn
In brilliant light to carry you home

Let my love be a river
Rest your weary heart

2. Brother

He moved to Colorado in his 27th year
Living like that old John Denver song
He said he had to try to learn to love again
We said “Go now, but brother don’t be long”

He move out to the mountains ‘cause he heard the air was fresh
Got news about his family, thought he’d go and find some rest
Said, “I think I’ll never want to learn love again”
We said “try and do your best – try not to give up just yet”

I never had a brother of my own
There was nobody else living in my home
But you’ve shown me the way of patient sadness
And I thank you for that

I was born into this life all on my own
There were others, but they told me they never made it home
So when I finally went and got myself grown
I made a family out of water and the blood that makes us whole

He came into my kitchen on a warm Sunday night
Said we have something to tell you, I went and saved your husband’s life
Remembering it now, I wish I’d looked into his eyes
And said, “you think it was his, but it was mine”

I never had a brother of my own
There was nobody else living in my home
But you’ve shown me the way of loving kindness
And I thank you for that

I’m sorry for the things that made you run
I wish that I could take them from you, I wish it could be done
In the very least I thought I’d let you know
No matter how lost you get in me You’ll always have a home

I never had a brother of my own
There was nobody else living in my home
But you’ve shown me the way of loving kindness, and patient sadness
And I thank you for that
I thank you for that
How can I thank you for that?

3. Home

I find myself at 33 years old with an aching in my soul
Like longing for the warmth of a mid-summer’s night
While the world’s covered in snow
Or like the memory of a place I’ve never been
a place I once called home
Though I’ve tried to hide it
It’s worn me down to fight the question burning in my bones

I have been longing, longing to know – can I feel settled down in my soul
Can I be deeply secure, can I know it for sure that I am well
That all will be well

I am grateful for my family, friends, and my wife, for the work I was made to do
But those birds rise on the wind, and I wish just like them
To feel at ease in my own skin
This is deep calling out to deep, it is a thirst I cannot quench
I have felt it for some time, my well is running dry
And I am thirsting for some peace

I have been longing, longing to know – can I feel settled down in my soul
Can I be deeply secure, can I know it for sure that I am well
That all will be well

At the end of the day I just want to know that I’m alive
At the end of the day I just want to be

To be home, to be free, for my soul to sing a song called liberty

4. Lost & Found

Everything felt possible, everything felt new
The tears streaming down my face brought healing, brought truth
I found a family, I found belonging. I found you.
Like I was finally seeing in color, a new light shining through

I had you, oh

It never came down crashing or burning, it never fell apart
Just started pulling at the miles and miles of string at the hem of my heart

I had my home here, I had these four strong walls, I had my ego filled
My broken cisterns just started leaking, and they drank from them still

I had you, oh

Now everything feels so impossible. Inconsistent, and false
I’m left wondering if all those years were just me talking to the wall

I lost my family, I lost belonging, the veil was torn
I lost my ego, my self-reliance, I lost my pedestal

But I found you

5. Always I

Listen to us God, do you hear your daughters cry
Do you hear your children beg for peace
Look to us God, do you see our outstretched arms
Do you see the tears fall down our cheeks?

We’re losing hope, oh God, when we see our people die
When we see our brothers slain each day
Restore us to yourself, and return to us our joy
So our mourning will start to sing

You dwell among us, God, and you live in broken hearts
Your glory’s in the least of these
In the ones we overlook, you’re in the ones who we oppress
The outcast, sinner, poor, and meek
The adultress, the diseased, you’re in the murder and theif
The ones who will betray, you’re in the ones who’ve walked away
And you’re calling us home to stay

6. Every Seed Must Die

It’s all fading fast
The world that I see won’t last
And it feels like the tighter I hold on the quicker it all slips away
And time knows no mercy
It slows down for nobody
The clockwork ticks steadily forward
[Driven by] a lifeless machinery

Seems like every seed must die
Fall to the earth for a while
It’s hard to lose, and it hurts to let go
But every seed must die
For new life to grow

I have a cousin
He said while he was praying
Every color burst to life around him in a shimmering dance
Then he looked me in the eye
Said “I’m no longer afraid to die
For the love that we share here together
Will never pass away”

Yes, and every seed must die
Fall to the earth for a while
It’s hard to lose, and it hurts to let go
But every seed must die
For new life to grow

And my heart beats that it’s true
My eyes perceive just a partial view
Though beauty seems to flee
It’s a signpost for a world I will one day see

7. Mary-Ann

We were tired of the phone calls, we were tired of the news
There was something so different about losing you
When the phone started ringing in the early part of dawn
We knew before we answered that you were gone

And the angels were singing, as we closed our teary eyes again
And the bells started ringing , as he welcomed home his Mary-Ann

It’s been such a long year, yes it’s been such a trial
Would you mind if I just sat here for a while
I’ve heard you’re good to talk to, and there’s so much left to say
Like “why do good things have to go away” – they go away

And your daughters were singing, as you closed your weary eyes again
And the phone kept on ringing
As you said your prayers with beads still in your hands

And we sang Joy, mother you’re full of grace, look at my face
Joy, mother, fruit of your womb, lights up the room

And we sing songs, you sing along as good as you can
And we’ll sing your songs, we’ll sing it strong as long as we can
As long as we can

We’ll sing joy, mother, Mary-Ann

8. Je Vous Salue, Marie

Je vous salue, Marie, pleine de grâce
le Seigneur est avec vous
Vous êtes bénie entre toutes les femmes
et Jésus, le fruit de vos entrailles
Est béni, Sainte Marie
Mère de Dieu,
Priez pour nous
Pauvres pécheurs maintenant et à l’heure
de notre mort
Amen

9. Always II

Arise, forever, my sweet love
The hope you’re looking for has come in flesh now
Arise, and never be afraid
For I am with you always

10. Grateful

Walk with me to the waterside
See the sun sinking slow
Paint a canvas sky from blue to red and gold
Hold my hand sitting in the sand
The light slips past the trees
Draws back the curtain on a shimmering galaxy

And I wonder at the mystery of the breath inside our lungs
The very gift that sustains me, holds the life of everyone
And I am grateful, grateful to be alive

I wake with you lying by my side
As if you’ve always been there
Gentle curving frame, soft and golden hair
I still remember a place in time
All I had was a prayer
A simple wish – a life that we could share

And I when I wonder at the mystery of our love I’m overcome
Of all the billions of people our two hearts they beat as one
And I am grateful, grateful to be alive

But I get lost sometimes
My blood runs cold and my eyes grow blind
When I’ve reached my end and can’t find my way
You’re standing there right in front of me

Ooooo

So I wonder at the mystery of a love that seeks me out
Through every season of suffering, in my fear and in my doubt
And I am grateful, grateful to be alive

11. Lullaby

My flower, my daisy, I am well pleased
With the person you are, and the person you’ll be
My daughter, my child, I’m with you always
Nothing will change that, for all of your days

When the world is against you, I will protect you
I’ll never reject you. I’ll be by your side
When you stand on the mountain, or down in the valley
I’ll hear when you call me; I’ll be your guide

My son, whom I love, I am well pleased
Not with what you’ve done or what you will achieve
But the soul in those bones was formed by the one
Who gave you the stars, and gave you his son

And if I am for you, tell me – who could be against you?
Who could ever test you, or threaten your life?
In all the sky above you, and all the earth below you
No one could ever know you quite like I do

My beacon of hope, you are the joy in my life
You’re the sunshine of spring, you are the blue in my eyes
You’re the white dove that’s come with the end of this rain
The colors of the rainbow, and the passing of our pain

I said that I would come, I told you it’d be done
And it’s not in my nature to break a promise
You waited for me, and now you will see
The glorious day that is upon us

For now, close your eyes
I’ll hold you through the night
Darling, child of mine

1. Quiet Hands

Quiet hands and restless minds cast shadows on the wall,
In shapes I’m recognizing from the books we read.
In lights cast from balloons, I see the lines around your mouth
Form a smile that has grown out of this moment.
What day’s behind us now when we walk past the wooden fence,
To the field behind our house with all the swing sets,
The bats flew overhead, the wind it took our kite to fly,
And our white dog ran in circles ‘round the twilight

Now crickets move their tiny legs, like violins, they orchestrate
Music that will take us to a world where,
We’ll dream of all that we can do tomorrow, when it’s me and you
Now hours and our sleep will separate us.

We’ll tread the pebble path along the west wall of our home,
Where the sun warms the grass and we’ll lay there,
Naming animals in clouds and picking flowers for the one we love,
we wonder, could there be another like her?
Her laughter fills the spaces and her hair falls softly on her shirt,
Frames the gentle face that taught me beauty.
You’ll both sing to me the songs that move a place inside I can’t explain,
Somehow I know that we were formed together.

2. Where We’ve Been & Where We’re Going

Read me the letter that you wrote on the 1st of January,
If my memory serves me, you were out West,
Thinkin’ of the best way to tell me.
If assumption serves me (like it does), well,
I would say that we were wishing for the same thing this year.

I’ll play you the song that I wrote on the 29th day of January.
If my memory serves me, we were locked up in my car,
And it was raining.
If assumption serves me (like it does), well,
I would say that we’ve been writing on the same page
Ever since.

If time is just a construct of the mind,
A notion someone thought up just to keep the trains in line,
Then I won’t be bogged down by the space from then to now,
I’ll hold you close, ‘till we arrive.

We drive on unplowed roads these days in our second January.
But as the winter passes (like it does), well,
I have faith that we’ll be moving at the same pace this year.
And as assumption serves me (like it does), well,
I would say that we’ve been writing on the same page
And always will.

If time is just a construct of the mind,
An empty promise someone made us just to keep our hearts in line,
Then I won’t be bogged down by the space from then to now,
I’ll hold you close, ‘till we arrive.

I’ll hold you close,
I’ll hold you close,
I will hold you close,
‘Till we arrive.

3. Avynn’s Song

Oh, my child, you’re a special one,
hair as red as wildfire, eyes are blue as deepest ocean,
Smile sets this heart in motion
A world is opening up in me, as you explore on hands and feet,
Dependent on every need, you help me see that,

Love is all around me,
I can see oh so clearly,
And I can feel it in my bones,
It is safe to believe,
That love is all around me.

Avynn, just you being here, wide-eyed window to the soul,
Teaching me so very much about living life in simple trust,
There are days I gotta say it’s hard to see the good at all,
Easier to build up walls,
But you remind me that,

Love is all around me,
I can see oh so clearly,
And I can feel it in my bones,
It is safe to believe,
That love is all around me.

Did you fall on your back? I’m sorry to see that,
I hate to hear you cryin’
You know, life is just like that,
The pain, the hurt, will leave you flat,
To paint it different would be lying
There’s more to life than getting bruised,
Kicked around, win and lose,
Even if you hit rock bottom,
When you fall, beneath it all is…

Love in the stars at night, twinkling in pure delight
Love in a stranger’s smile, walking down the street
Love, it’s in the trees, birds singing sweet mysteries
Love. Can you feel it child? Love…

4. Gold

Under a sea of burning balls of fire,
I have my questions.
Am I still asleep? Could this be a dream?
Can anyone here grasp all this vastness?

When will we wake? When will the thread,
Holding up the Universe, break?
I’m swimming through a sea of stars,
And I’m drowning in Your endless heart.

Hold me close, O God so far away,
I need your secrets.
And I hear You say, from a million miles away,
“Oh, Love. Love without limit.”

And my soul it sings the choir of the King,
“Look to the light, He is turning us into beautiful things.”
When will we know which way to go?
The path is dark, but the journey is gold.

5. A Light, A Treasure

This ship has been traveling on an open ocean
Set sail many years ago in search of a treasure told
By drunken sailors, who swear on the darkest night,
They’ve seen the light burning, but in the morning, it is gone.
They say she shines brighter than the clearest diamond,
She smells sweeter than the richest scented oils,
Only the purest hands could ever hold her,
Only the bravest hearts tested in these waters could reach her in the end.

My sail is set for her shores,
And I’ve found a map to what I’m looking for,
And when I land, I’ll find the sweetest gold,
I’m taking her with me when I go.

Many ships have been lost, buried in the waves
Hopes smashed on shores in the allure of lesser treasure
And the taverns are full of the ones who turned their boats around,
Their hearts too weak to stand the testing of the waters.
I know their pain, I’ve seen the wreckage.
I’ve had hopes dashed on cliffs, littered with bones of other sailors
There’s no way I’m letting go, these oceans can try my heart,
I’ll reach her shores with hands made pure in these waters
I know I’ll reach her in the end.

My sail is set for her shores,
And I’ve found a map to what I’m looking for,
And when I land, I’ll find the sweetest gold,
I’m taking her with me when I go.
I’m coming for you.

This ship has seen swells that could crumble the strongest man
They’ll crush his soul, tear the dreams out of his hands,
But I’m giving it hell. I’m fighting the best that I can.
My course has been set,
On the horizon, a light is shining.

6. God Knows I’ve Tried

This guitar is empty-sounding,
Like your words as you stumble for the truth.
The strings are old, and the wood is weary,
And I’ve grown tired of the songs it has for you.

Where’s compassion that you preach,
When you abandon family?
Where’s forgiveness when you find,
Only fault in all you see?

Oh, I can’t love you any better.
God knows I’ve tried.

All the chords are so familiar,
Like the words that you thought I never heard.
Oh, my dear, both these ears,
Have been riddled with those messages for twenty-something years.

Where’s this loyalty you preach,
When you can’t love outside your comfort?
And the fighter in your heart,
Can only run and duck for cover?

I can’t love you any better.
God knows I’ve tried.

Fire falls from your lips, when you say,
“He loves you, but He can’t stomach what you did.”
But I don’t remember reading that this Love comes with a price
Of trying to be perfect in a broken world’s eyes.

I can’t appease you any longer.
God knows I’ve tried.

And I don’t remember reading that this Love comes with a price
Of trying to be perfect in a broken world’s eyes.

I can’t love you any better.
God knows I’m tired.

7. This Old Tin Roof

Come tell us all your troubles, child,
We wanna see you free,
And see the shackles all that make you fall
Come unchained from your feet.

We’re gonna break down this old tin roof
And lower you into His arms.(x2)

Jesus I can see Your eyes
From across this old street
See, the life I chose is throwing stones
Am I lowly as I seem?

I’m gonna go out and fight the crowd,
And fall down at Your feet (x2)

Oh, Father, I am growing weary,
Help me with my disbelief.
When the storms they come and steal my love,
Do You walk on those seas?

I’m gonna step out on your still seas,
And trust Your faith in me (x2)

I’m gonna go out and fight the crowd,
And fall down at Your feet (x2)

8. Arise

Arise, my darling,
Come spend this day with me
The winter has left our hillside,
Leaving flowers in retreat
It’s the season for songs,
And every tree holds a melody,
Arise, my darling, arise,
Come spend this day with me.

There is no place left to go,
There is nothing left to find
My life is full with you, my life is full with you

Bliss me with the kisses of your lips,
More pleasing than the sweetest wine.
And I’m longing, yes, I’m longing
To drink in deep, spinning dizzy in my mind.
Your skin like lilacs in the springtime,
Just a hint to capture all my senses.
And I’m longing, yes, I’m longing
To breathe in deep, spinning dizzy in my mind.

There is no place left to go,
There is nothing left to find
My life is full with you, my life is full with you.

Let’s go dancing through the vineyard!
We’ll float on soft through sunswept linens.. (x2)

Yeah! Let’s go out dancing!
Spinning around, spinning around, spinning around
Yeah! We’ll out dancing!
Spinning around, spinning around, spinning around

9. Your Beauty

She’s smart, she’s clever, uses her words to pull me back together.
When she smiles, the walls shake, the earth hums, my heart quakes.
She shares her mind, she’s drawing me in, we talk for hours, our world rearranging,
There’s no place, there is no place I’d rather be.

Chorus:
She came in through that door, walked into my world,
Now everything changed, my life will never be the same,
Because of her beauty, because of her beauty,
My life will never be the same, because of her beauty, my love.

Your eyes call me in, fingers trace the soft space under your chin
Pure honey on your lips, a flower at your waist, a whole world at your hips.
You let me out, draw me back in,
I’m tossed like a wave crashing over your skin,
and there’s no place, there is no place I’d rather be.

Chorus:
She came in through that door, walked into my world,
Now everything changed, and our life will never be the same,
Because of your beauty, because of your beauty,
Our life will never be the same, because of your beauty, my love.

This is physical, this is spiritual,
Some days are miserable, others are miracles,
But it’s ours, all ours,
We share this together.
This is physical, this is spiritual,
Some days are miserable, all of them miracles,
But it’s ours, all ours,
We share this together.

Come rest in my arms, while the world seems to crumble around us
Let it all change, and all fall away
We will hold on, hold on together.
I’ll rest in your arms while the world seems to crumble around us
Let it all change, let it all fall away.
We will hold on, hold on together
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